Hi, do you take walk-ins?

I took a trip, it wasn’t a big one. But I drove an hour out of Adelaide to pick up a used camera I had said I’d buy. Nikon D3100 with an 18-55mm lens and an 18-200mm lens so I can take photos of the cricket, and I hated every fucking moment I spent in the Navara. Granted I did get to go on the new Northern Expressway bit at night and see none of it anyway.

When I decided to swap from a sedan to a 4×4 dual cab I thought it might help me change my life up a bit and let me do new things. I’d go to the drive-in and lay in the tray, I’d go down to Moana beach with some friends and for once, I might actually swim in the ocean instead of just walking along with it and taking photos. I might even go away camping with Riss, I’d even spent Two hundred dollars on swag for it. Which has spent two years sitting in my closet. I thought I could pick up timber and build things in the shed too.
First came the fuel consumption issue, then came the engine light issue, then the head unit packed it in and I had no Bluetooth, and the front speakers didn’t work either. The throttle body got replaced, the EGR got replaced, and finally, the engine light issues went away. But it still went through fuel like my nephews go through juice boxes.
Then I noticed the seeping in boots around the suspension. I did my tax and send it off to the accountant and saw that between the parts, travel, insurance and loan repayments I’d spent $7500 on it in a year. That’s the difference between the money I have in savings and having enough for a house deposit.

I was pretty distressed over it, so I figured I’d stick it up for sale once the registration was about to expire. There’s a chance, I’ll get more than I paid for it thanks to Covid. People aren’t buying new cars and a lot are going for 4×4 utes so they can go camping… just like I was going to do. The drive to Nuriootpa was horrible, it was bouncy, wobbly, noisy and just all-around shit to be in the car for that long after a days work. It wasn’t comfortable at all, not to mention it handles like a fucking houseboat.

But I’ve come to resent that car, buying it, but also making me realise my friends are flakey. I’m tired of text messages being replied to in 5-7 business days while they fuck about on social media. Or those who stop contacting you once something “new and shiny” comes into their life. It’s made me realise what a good friend is, and isn’t. A few years back I thought that I would give people my time because to me I time was a valuable thing and they deserved my time and attention. Now I’ve realised, all they did was fucking waste it.

I finally stopped texting first, and it’s amazing how many people don’t talk to you if you don’t start the conversation.

Things are pretty quiet on the social front, social media and friends. Outside of work and my parent’s I haven’t been around anyone since the start of June. My phone sits on the coffee table at night, I don’t message anyone and they don’t message me. I haven’t had anyone to talk to, but does it really matter when they don’t care in the first place to check up on someone they’d consider a friend? Ironically, people tend to change their attitude toward you when you begin treating them the way they treat you. Which is what’s happening, that’s assuming they talk back in the first place. I guess it’s time they put a little more effort into friendship if they still want it, and I’m going to be heard from now on.

I’m not a door mat, I’m a welcome mat.

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