Whoa, this is heavy.
There’s been a lot on the past week, and while it hasn’t been stressful it’s just been a lot to take onboard. Work has been particularly busy due to everyone needing to be able to work from home, or remotely due to the whole COVID-19 outbreak. There is plenty of work and I’m keeping busy, but also trying to keep my distance from clients in case of those who are infected and may pass it onto myself.
On Wednesday I had my first psychologist appointment, it was at least a comfortable introductory session where we could talk about what’s going on, why and how we can go about working on them. My main concerns have been the depression, which seems to have been a side effect of my chronic illness, the last six months have probably been the worst of it. Speaking with both my counsellor and my psych, we’ve ended up in the general ball park that the Fibromyalgia had the side effect of depression and anxiety. But also that it’s had another side effect of disassociating with any of the empathy that I had before towards others in my life. In turn, this has cause some friction with others, and hurt them as well.
So working on that will be my main priority, and the psych is also giving me tasks on helping me manage pain with Fibro and also mapping some new neural pathways. It’s a start, and I’ll just have to keep going.
Friday I had another follow up appointment with my GP, just to see how the anti-depressants are going, and so far no major side effects. I feel stable, while just a tad low in mood. But not as low as the Dothep I was taking. It’s certainly doing a better job. We’re going to see how it goes for another month and reassess again, and I can also look at going up in the dose if I feel I need it.
Yesterday, was also my birthday. Schfifty-five, no. Just kidding, Thirty-Seven. I don’t feel any different to be honest. Maybe a tad of anxiety around life that I’m late 30’s and not doing all the things other people do like marriage and a family. I’m still trying to find my way. But that’s been a low level lingering feeling for quite some time. I’ve never been a big birthday person, I got a message just after midnight from Riss saying Happy Birthday, in her own way too. A few from the other people that count, and the ones I usually expect won’t remember or message.
I caught up with an old co-worker/house mate I haven’t seen in a couple of years, but we’ve kept in touch online a little, and he’s only 20 minutes away. I spent the evening with my parents, a simple dinner, some cake that put me in a sugar coma until this morning, and also watched John Wick with Dad as he’s never seen it. He enjoyed that and is going to watch the other two.
Today is just kicking around the house and doing a few things, and hopefully I get to hang with one of my favourite humans later this evening.
Having a Macbook dedicated to blogging is also helping me write more frequently and also have ideas for other things to talk about.