When someone travels overseas they are more than likely hoping they’ll find some “meaning of life”, “find themselves” or to feel like they’ll find some kind of purpose. More often than not, it won’t reap any of those thoughts that were sewn.
The past year has been tough, to say the least. Leading up to heading overseas was added stress on top of the stress I was already under. I kept pushing through, every day seemingly that little bit harder than the last, and that little bit longer.
I’m sitting down, looking at some grey skies and now 3 weeks into a month in Scotland, in the town that all the family has come from. And I can say I am to the bone, and Aussie. Coming here is great, I’ve met relatives, learnt history and seen some fantastic sights.
But I miss the warm weather, the cold beer, the beach, and the few people I call my friends. I’ve found no purpose in life, but I have found more appreciation for what I have, who I spend my time with, and where I live.
Granted, the plane ride home will be long and tiring, but what awaits at the end will be worth it.
I haven’t driven for nearly a month, I haven’t had to answer a phone call for work. Just deal with some routine maintenance and a few emails. But I guess we all need to pay the bills, right? So some work had to be done.
I’ve seen massive, amazing Castles. But the best is yet to come, Edinburgh. I’ve had interesting food, haggis, black pudding, smokies. I’ve had more sugar that I can poke a stick at, I’ve walked more kilometres than I can think. But I’m hanging out for the gym, good coffee and even better food when I get back.
I’ve seen the greenest country sides, had the freshest sea breezes, but I’m looking forward to some dead grass, dust, and warm blistering summers down the beach, and beer at the pub on hot days watching the cricket. I couldn’t live here, but I could visit again. I’ve seen the oldest golf course in the world, St Andrews. But miss that hallowed ground that is Adelaide Oval.
My relatives have all been awesome, and accommodating. My grand uncle Bob who’s been kind enough to let us stay with him, has been more than hospitable. Plenty of food and Scottish ones at that. And my first cousin Lexi; who, while is only 10. She has been a barrel of fun and kept me sane, and helped me remember my inner child with colouring in, hide and seek, and piggy back rides.
This is the most time I’ve spent with Dad, and I do love him. But he can drive me up the fucking wall. I’m looking forward to my own space, my own time, decompressing from people, being able to drive and having some independence back rather than being driven everywhere. I could have had a hire car, but it’s not really cost effective and we haven’t needed it so much. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing, between Dad driving me nuts, some people didn’t seem to know boundaries. I’m on holiday, I shouldn’t need to hear about people’s problems and have them expect me to offer some kind of advice. I’m not a therapist, life coach or a guru who can help, I’m simply me. And if you have issues you need to talk to someone about, that’s what therapists and the like are for. Let me enjoy my holidays and don’t push the boundaries of a friendship. As they were already strained before I left, and not giving me the time to decompress and headspace to get away from all that shit has only made things worse. Surprisingly, while things have been terrible with Riss, she’s used the opportunity to take hold of her life and make changes and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
I’ve a week left, I’m looking forward to Edinburgh Castle, and the Natural History Museum. I’m looking forward to meeting Katherine after 10 years of just abusing each other online, but I appreciate her honesty and bluntness when I’ve needed advice from a neutral party not in Australia. I’m looking forward to cuddles with Seth and Eli, hugging the crap out of Riss. Beer with Dave and Erin, and obnoxious talk with Luke at the gym. I’m looking forward to all the things I do daily that I now appreciate a lot more for that down time.
There’s going to be a lot of changes when I get back, good ones. The only thing that won’t change is $4.50 pints of Coopers lager, because that stuff is awesome and the beer here is shit. Maybe I should have a Fosters Lager before I go just for proof. Everyone here thinks it’s Australia’s great beer, but it’s an Aussie label that’s brewed in Manchester and we never have it anywhere I look in Aus, although I’ve been told they brand it as Crown Lager and rip us off with it.
I’ll get some photos into my 500px Gallery at some stage, but I still need to rifle through them and weed out all the shit ones. But most of the good stuff is on Instagram anyway.
P.S. I didn’t find myself, but I did find some donuts.